Transforming Challenging Emotions Real Quick

Transforming Challenging Emotions Fast AF for an Empath (no spiritual bypassing here)

When a challenging emotion hits- be it anxiety, sadness, lethargy, anger, fear, sick-of-having-human-body-ness, etc- it can be shocking to a system that has so much light. 

You might get confused… like you’re doing all the “right” things, showing up to your practices, writing in your journal.. and then BAM out of nowhere something sharp shines into your experience and heart. 

We can’t control pain from entering our field.

We can definitely take care of ourselves to the best of our ability, have boundaries, cleanse our energy body, participate in high vibratory events, spend time with people who uplift our light, and show up daily for our life’s work and the light. (Start here, if you haven’t yet.)

And then if we experience any darker emotion within that.. within daily work to align to the highest.. well then its beautifully rich. 

Challenging emotions (when showing up to do your work and aligning to the light) are most likely from the collective. 

As an empath, its easy for you to feel and take in the emotions of those around you. 

Its important to then learn… what is yours and what is not. 

What’s Yours?

To have the awareness of whether an emotion is yours or whether you are picking something up from the collective, its important to simply question the emotion- “Did I create this? Where did this come from? Is this mine?” 

For example, you may have eaten something heavy and it may have had a negative impact on your emotional state. Become aware of that and then take full responsibility for it. Be honest with yourself. The challenging emotion came from your own creation. 

And then if you feel into it and it almost feels like the emotional state has arisen out of nowhere… you can almost guarantee its from the collective.. or at least someone close to you or someone you’ve been spending much time with. 

We can even pick up emotional states from the people who are a blessing to be around and the people we love. It says nothing about them. It’s just the nature of things.

If its Yours or if its Theirs

Either way, emotions want to be accepted… seen… heard… surrendered to… but then they definitely want to be transcended so we can move forward with inspiration, clarity, and service for the world. 

So if its yours or if its theirs… you want to feel and relax and listen to your emotions… allowing all of them into your space… and at the same time you don’t want to let them control you, tell you who you are, or stop you from showing up in the world for the things that matter. 

You can sit with and feel emotions and train yourself to not fear any emotional state… and still learn how to self-empower and heal the mind into its natural state, love. 

You may have already learned to either numb challenging emotions, repress them, or even do anything and everything to fix and heal them. 

So clearly, the process of feeling and transcending comes with grace, practice, and time.

I’m about to share with you my practice in hopes that it can inspire your relationship with the challenging emotion that arises within you. 


1. First, Clarify Feeling

“What is this that I’m feeling?”

It’s helpful to name the emotion first and foremost so that you don’t feel an overwhelming sense of “I don’t even know what this is but it sucks and IDK what to do and I’m so sensitive and I just want to stay in my room all day.” 

Simply going through the process of naming your emotion makes it seem less scary and a lot more approachable.

You can even repeat the name of the emotion out loud.

2. Next, Ask the Sacred Question

“Is this mine?” “Where did this come from?” 

This step is to give your mind some homework and entertainment and to allow yourself to see into your own habits and life. 

3. And then, Surrender and Accept

I know its easy to want to fix it right away, cleanse it out, and heal yourself as fast as you can. 

(You know at the core you are light!)

And at the same time, the only real way for you to heal from the feminine standpoint is to stop fighting the emotion, and instead accept it. 

Whatever we resist, persists.

So give yourself a chance to actually let it go by remaining judgment-free and trusting that its here for a good reason, The Universe has a set plan.


4. Transcend the Trigger 

To process and remove it from your field you have many options. 

Go jump in the ocean, take a salt bath, do chi gong and tapping.

Take yoga, do a breast massage, lay down for 20 minutes for a deep breath-work session.

Use the practices in my free e-book, Sensual Self Practice

I make it sound simple, but sometimes it can get really intense to remove something from the space. I’ve personally gone into four-hour practices at a time to remove a challenging emotion from myself and my world. For good. For real. 

This is about you going into your toolkit of detoxification tools and those allies you’ve got to cleanse your space. And no, not just a sprinkle of sage. Get your real game face on and literally use your tools until you no longer feel the emotion under your skin. 

Pray for it to leave, knowing that you are love and light and that this emotion is just a passerby in your human experience of life. 

5. Focus on a Creative Project

Once you’re through… focus on something else. Take your mind off of what is so absolutely emotional within you by engaging in a creative project that is in support of the magical life you are here to create. 

Sometimes we feel that we can’t work on our creative outlets unless we are in “a good space” but the reality is that if we do that… we are not committing to daily creativity and service in the world. 

You don’t have to be perfect or perfectly healed to engage with the light. And doing so, will automatically remove some of the dark. 

Protect your Energy?

Theres a whole camp out there telling you to protect your energy so you don’t take others stuff into you as much as you can. I didn’t understand why for the longest time I never really agreed with doing so, and now I cracked the code. 

The whole idea is to put a shield of protection around your energy body… whether a golden egg or a purple flame or whatever serves you. 

I actually do this, along with holding the belief that I am a sovereign being and I get to decide what enters my experience and not. 

You might find power in holding that belief for yourself as you walk through this world. “I am a sovereign being and I get to decide what enters my space.” 

That being said… life is about connection… in so many ways. 

And to connect with authenticity and vulnerability… part of this shield and our guard actually needs to come down. 

Letting people in is a part of the medicine, part of the fun. 

Connecting intimately and cuddling and talking to strangers and holding hands and long 10 second hugs and sharing feelings… its all a part of the human experience, and I would never want to miss out on any of this when it feels aligned in regards to “protecting my energy.” 

Get Penetrated, Cleanse the Field

I would personally much rather get into a daily practice to cleanse my energy body and remove whats not mine than “protect myself” (and I put it in italics because control is an illusion anyways) and miss out on some of the most delicious and beautiful moments in life.

I mean, if we’re wanting to live open to love and experience.. adventure.. if we want to be in the feminine, manifest a masculine man… if we want to flow with The Universe and experience the magic of letting go… part of the shield has to be removed.

When you are empowered with the understanding of how to feel, process, understand, and transcend emotions… (and you get empowered in it when you show up to it on a daily basis) living openly doesn’t feel so scary anymore, either.

Of course, respect your hearts boundaries and don’t allow drunkies and disrespect into your space… but don’t close yourself off to the world.

Women have shut down their open hearts to the world over the years because it hasn’t been safe. An open heart in the past may have gotten you into trouble.. trusting the wrong people and being vulnerable to get hurt. But the you back then is not the you now.

When you upgrade your relationship to yourself and your inner world… your self-worth, and your feminine power… you get to be so “with yourself” that you can open… because you are connected to your heart and she will not lead you astray.

But you have to go in.

Breathe love into your chest.

Become the beloved.

Embody your longing for love. 

Love yourself fiercely, every emotion and every step of the way.

And work with your emotions, instead of shunning them and shooing them away.

Say, “Hey, who the heck are you?” like each state of being is just a passerby on the street. They will all leave, they just want to be seen and felt.

It starts before you want it to start.

It starts when you open to integration of every archetype and goddess within.

When you give yourself permission to feel… the transcendence part becomes quite intuitive, too.

Your heart always knows.


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Ashae Sundara is a leadership coach for the most magical women on the planet.

Her life’s work is in healing the universal feminine heart.

Money. Embodiment. Energy. Sex.  And Soul.

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