Wanting Love – Creating Separation

wanting love

Angel… act from devotion to your present moment inner truth.

Especially when it’s hard.

Let me explain.

Yesterday I was talking to a client who’s noticing this pattern:

When a need isn’t being met by her partner, instead of speaking up and sharing the vulnerability of the moment…

which would be a commitment to show up for herself…

she tends to passive aggressively punish him by removing her heart. 🙀

It looks like this:

1️⃣ She wants attention.

2️⃣ She doesn’t get attention.

3️⃣ She says “I think I’m going to go home” wanting and expecting him to give her a NO YOU’RE NOT, STAY!

4️⃣ He doesn’t read her mind and she goes home.

What was her original need and desire? Attention. Intimacy. Closeness.

A part of her tells her that she can get it sideways… but trust me on this one, it just does not work.

Ive tried one too many times.

This pattern comes out for me the most when I’m comparing myself to other women and DEFINITELY when it comes to speaking my truth outside of my beloved relationship with sisters and other men. Ouch. 🙃

Here’s the thing: We can’t expect our partners or people to read our tests – this is the old way.

What my client is doing in this example is literally the opposite of what she wants!

She wants love… but since she’s believing a belief of fear… she’s creating separation for them both.

When we were talking about it, we identified this: She’s suffering because of an unwillingness to share her vulnerable heart in the moment- “Hi. I need affection. Can you be here for me?”

We identified that in that moment the story she tells herself is- “Do I even matter?”

And the way through it and to the other side 👉🏼 a conversation with self— “I am a powerful loving pure being and everything I speak is through my heart and I can’t go wrong when I do that.”

Saying “I’m just going to go home now” is not self love. It’s not devotion to the truth. And it’s not in any way a service to the evolved self. It’s a lie that requires clean up on the other end.

We need to remind ourselves that speaking up for what’s true in the moment is an act of self love.

And when we don’t… not only are we creating separation with our intimate partners but we are betraying ourselves.

At the end of the day, we’re all on a journey of truth toward our inner Source.

So show the fuck up for you.



P.S. If you want to dive deeper into masculine/feminine polarity, check out Letting Him Rise, a bundle of deliciously exciting and important transmissions for women ready to take ownership over their part in relationship and hold space for their man to rise. 

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Ashae Sundara is a leadership coach for the most magical women on the planet.

Her life’s work is in healing the universal feminine heart.

Money. Embodiment. Energy. Sex.  And Soul.

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