Leaning into Love when it’s the Hardest

Leaning into Love

When I say “leaning into love through the vulnerability of the moment” do you actually know what I mean?

Do you know the sensation of your heart closing and then choosing to open instead?

I’m trying to find a way to paint something for you that’s so easy and massively complex at the same time.

It’s like this:

1️⃣ You have some sort of perception of the way the moment is supposed to go. ….The way your date is going to go, the way your partner will smell, the way he will make you feel, the way your course will sell, the way people react to what you bring….

2️⃣ You realize that what’s happening on the outside is not what you want or doesn’t match the story you created in your mind.

3️⃣ In that moment you have two options. You could close your heart (to the world and yourself), feel disappointment, and let the part of you that desires die. OR you could choose to lean in to love through the vulnerability of the moment.

To do so, you need to consciously and deliberately make the decision inside of your body and brain.

“K body and being… here’s my expectation unmatched… can I open my heart to that? Can I share what I want? Can I express my desire through an open heart and not close away? Can I receive this through my being and let it open me to more of myself?”

To do so, you need to feel it all. Your desire unmatched, the pain of this whole world and even being in fucking form… like it’ll all come in and your ability to feel it and let it open you MORE is the gift to transform and rise into your true embodied power ⚡️

This is internal alchemy into your most pleasured and intimate space.

This is the path of devotional pleasure.

This is the work.

I’m in it and I know you’re here because you’re ready to be in it with me too.

Let’s practice together, k?

Yesterday I was talking to a client who’s noticing this pattern:

When a need isn’t being met by her partner, instead of speaking up and sharing the vulnerability of the moment…

which would be a commitment to show up for herself…

she tends to passive aggressively punish him by removing her heart. 🙀

It looks like this:

1️⃣ She wants attention.

2️⃣ She doesn’t get attention.

3️⃣ She says “I think I’m going to go home” wanting and expecting him to give her a NO YOU’RE NOT, STAY!

4️⃣ He doesn’t read her mind and she goes home.

What was her original need and desire? Attention. Intimacy. Closeness.

A part of her tells her that she can get it sideways… but trust me on this one, it just does not work.

I’ve tried one too many times.

This pattern comes out for me the most when I’m comparing myself to other women and DEFINITELY when it comes to speaking my truth outside of my beloved relationship with sisters and other men. Ouch. 🙃

Here’s the thing: We can’t expect our partners or people to read our tests – this is the old way.

What my client is doing in this example is literally the opposite of what she wants!

She wants love… but since she’s believing a belief of fear… she’s creating separation for them both.

When we were talking about it, we identified this: She’s suffering because of an unwillingness to share her vulnerable heart in the moment- “Hi. I need affection. Can you be here for me?”

We identified that in that moment the story she tells herself is- “Do I even matter?”

And the way through it and to the other side 👉🏼 a conversation with self— “I am a powerful loving pure being and everything I speak is through my heart and I can’t go wrong when I do that.”

Saying “I’m just going to go home now” is not self love. It’s not devotion to the truth. And it’s not in any way a service to the evolved self. It’s a lie that requires clean up on the other end.

We need to remind ourselves that speaking up for what’s true in the moment is an act of self love.

And when we don’t… not only are we creating separation with our intimate partners but we are betraying ourselves.

At the end of the day, we’re all on a journey of truth toward our inner Source.

So show the fuck up for you.

And give yourself what you want.

Connection is yours.



P.S. For a juicy 7-day intensive to help get you connect with your heart + lean deeeeep into love, check out Radiant Heart Activation.

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Ashae Sundara is a leadership coach for the most magical women on the planet.

Her life’s work is in healing the universal feminine heart.

Money. Embodiment. Energy. Sex.  And Soul.

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