The Eroticism in Love

There was a time when love turned me off.

If a partner looked at me with love while fucking me there was a part of my system that said – “Vanilla. Boring. Ew.”

I needed power, darkness, and mystery to get aroused.

And while the above is still delicious and fun and necessary for the fullness of my erotic body-

The tides have turned.

Love is the secret sauce to all of my most wild places.

And it’s the hottest of all.

Getting to this place though, was a journey.

One of integration and self mastery.

One of illumination- to all of the places this world tries to separate sex and devotion, passion and love, pleasure and depth.

You see- most people are actually addicted to the pleasure of codependency, processing, self abuse, emotional exhaustion, tied energetic bodies, and the sex that happens on the surface of the body, covering the deepest fear and simultaneous desire to be met and cracked open intimately with the highest sense of love.

But this is not true pleasure.

It’s a false sense.

A hit to the part of the system that thinks hardship and love go hand in hand.

True pleasure doesn’t leave you foggy- it leaves you activated, enlivened, and devoted to serve.

True pleasure doesn’t leave you lusting- it leaves you full, and aroused toward life and God.

True pleasure doesn’t leave you ashamed- it leaves you peaceful, aligned, and powerfully connected to your core.

The more true pleasure I gift to myself, the more boundaried and integral I become within sex- both with myself and others.

A simple example is the difference between a self pleasure session fantasizing about a person vs. a session completely present with the intimacy of my own self.

Receiving the presence of ME.

Receiving the intimacy of being wildly present to pleasure dripping into my bones.

Pleasure that dissipates coding of scarcity, lack, shame, guilt, fear…

Pleasure that reminds all my parts that its safe to be- in this body, on this Earth.

Fantasizing is in no way wrong- it has its place.

But fantasizing vs. intimacy… they DO have different energetic and soul imprints.

They do open the system in different and unique ways.

That’s for sure.

Sooooooo, let me ask you a question.

When was the last time you took off the masks and made love to the you that is you… right now?

Not the you covered in leather, not the you looking at sex from a video getting aroused far, far away.

The you in your moment, in your bed, with your partner or not…

The you that had a hard day. The you that feels grief. The you that senses hurt.

The you that is you and that’s it.



Feeling it all.


Now don’t get me wrong- I love a good power play… the ways we humans get turned on are dynamic and all of them get to have space in our lives.

Lots of space 😉

And yet-

If we’re using our kinks and our hottest arousal spots on default all the time… we could be missing something underneath.

We could be sabotaging receiving the kind of connection we actually want (with ourselves and others) through habits and addictions.

But have you ever experienced the full body orgasmic state and the erotic divine dance when you let love into all of your pores?

Your partners penetration becomes consciousness itself blasting all of your perceived notions of separation to the curb.

Your own fingers become a way to circulate energy and move into the love that you are.

You merge.

You soften.

Not much movement is needed at all.

You let it in.

All of it.

You become that which you already are.

What could be hotter than that?

Finding the erotic that lives here… is a mysterious and delightful journey.

It’s like… how fucking deliciously turned on can you get by the idea that your body is a home for light and love itself

How much can you let yourself LUST, CRAVE, + SURRENDER OPEN to the purest form of sexual pleasure seeded with divinity?

The most beautiful thing is that it all comes back around.

ACTIVELY cracking your heart open to let love be erotic will teach you how to source love through the deepest darkness as well.

The slaps are slaps of love.

The bites are bites of devotion.

Love takes all the darkness back to its original pure form.

Perhaps it was never out of alignment.

But love perfects it into a higher octave and frequency of alignment.





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Ashae Sundara is a leadership coach for the most magical women on the planet.

Her life’s work is in healing the universal feminine heart.

Money. Embodiment. Energy. Sex.  And Soul.

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